When You're Feeling Some Kinda Way

I greet the end of July and beginning of August each year with a sense of dread.  Summer is my favorite time of year, and the first of August is a reminder that nothing gold can stay.

I am sure that, even into my forties, "Back to School" commercials will upset me. On the first day of seventh grade, I remember turning to Kenya Parrish and whining, "What I hate the most is that I do everything I can to appreciate how great summer is, but it always has to end.  There's nothing I can do to stop it."

This year, I'm not upset about the start of school, and I certainly would not say that I had a "summer vacation."  Still, lately I have had more difficulty riling up my usual optimism and appetite for weekend adventures.  Yesterday, I caught myself doing that thing I developed in undergrad, where I wile away an afternoon in a confused daze because I'm overwhelmed with the sudden breadth of choices I have over how to spend my time.

Of course these slumps are a normal part of life, but I'll be damned if I let any part of the summer get away from me.  We must hustle while the sun shines, and rally under the stars!

So here's my list of not-so-intuitive things to do when you catch yourself listlessly asking, in a loop, "What do I do now?  I have four hours ... What do I want to do?  What do I need to do?  I guess ... I will Youtube Miley Cyrus interviews?"

1. Don't Youtube Miley Cyrus Interviews, Dog Videos, or anything Else that You Don't Really Love.

No, there's nothing to be embarrassed about if you enjoy Miley Cyrus.  Girl can sing, her PR team's efforts are impressive, and her message is generally positive.  However, if you are a woman over the age of twenty-three, I will go ahead and let you know that there is nothing to be gained by listening to her interviews. Your relative enjoyment of this material is not high enough to waste your time in this way. You can predict what she might say. Opening up the Pringles can of Miley interviews will lead you into an Internet Rabbit Hole with no end or joy.  Close the window and step away.

2.  Do Watch a Movie

There are very few things in the entire world that allow me to deal with ANY anxiety or emotional upset I have like film.  (Maybe that's why I'm interested in Entertainment Transactional?) Good movies/films/whatever you'd like to call them completely engage you and give your mind a mental vacation that you might not otherwise be able to afford or pencil in.  Aside from 300, I have never finished a movie and thought, "I wish I had done something better with my time." I might be able to think of two or three occasions in my ENTIRE LIFE (four year break-up and death) that haven't been dealt with by watching a movie on demand, and, even in those circumstances, movies were pretty much the closest thing to a band-aid I could come up with.

3. Put Your Feet on the Earth

A yoga instructor I once had went on a rave about how our "electromagnetic fields become more in line" when we walk barefoot on the earth.  I had to work very hard not to laugh at her; I have no patience for this brand of unapologetic ignorance.  What I will concede to this BS-claim is that it really does feel amazing to walk around barefoot. Your feet get so used to certain textures, it's almost sad how refreshing it feels to remind your feet of your childhood by running around in the grass or the sand.  I am lucky that at my work I'm right near the beach.  When I feel overwhelmed, I take off my shoes, go stand in the sand, and take in a deep whiff of salt air.  Yes, all of my work shoes are now a little sandy.  I like to think it gives me grit. No pun intended.

4. Clean

When I'm feeling most upset or weird is when I'm least likely to tend to my apartment.  This is a chicken and egg thing.  I've started to make it a joke when I see my closet doors open.  "WE HAVE RULES AROUND HERE!" I say, as I slam them shut and pick up my nests of clothes around my bedroom.  I live alone.  (Tracking my gradual descent into madness due to living alone is one of my favorite jokes I have with myself.  My mom isn't as amused).

Put on your favorite podcast and just get it done.  Even if you're not happy when you clean, or after you've cleaned.... at least you're clean?  So you can only be so annoyed at how you've spent your day.

5. Call Your Old Friend

This isn't just good because it's a nice thing to do, but I've found that, when I can't put my finger on why I'm feeling weird, having a good conversation brings things to light.  Because I've lived in a few very different places, I have friends from very distinct parts of my life.  Sometimes I'm surprised by how my response to an old friend's question, "How have you been lately?" is more emotionally honest than it is to someone from, say, law school.  This has nothing to do with my intentions or perceptions of any my friends. But it is the case that it's my nature to put on a happy face with the people I'm around all the time.  I don't want to overburden them or lean on them too heavily (but of course, I do tend to lean on my law school friends more than I should).  There's a kinship with old friends where something in your heart just tells you what to say.  I am much more likely to say, "You know, I've been feeling weird because..." and then the answer of what's going on in my head will reveal itself in a way that it wouldn't if I were psychoanalyzing myself or just out to brunch with one of my good friends here in LA.  

Maybe even more importantly, speaking with old friends reminds you that everything will be okay.  Time passes rapidly, but the bonds you have with people can last your whole life, if you tend them and send some love their way. If we know this to be true, weathering difficult times suddenly seems much less harrowing.  Yes, life is uncertain, yes, times might be hard, but I can call Angela and be who I have always been, and that can be enough to turn a foggy day into something nice.