It's Time for Sundance 2015!

Hi my darling!!

I'm back!!

Fast Forward Through This it's corny 

What a crazy late 2014 and early 2015 I've had. Long story short, my health was pretty crappy, but I had some really good times, and also some "defining moments." Law school has been tough for me not because I haven't enjoyed learning the law, but because I'm constantly asking myself what I want to do, really do, deep down. I'm so resistant of stepping on a track that's so fast-paced it's hard to hop off, so a lot of my time is spent focused on what I (believe I've discussed this here) call "derivatives."  If you turned all the lights off and let the sun shine through the curtains and pretend like your kindergarten teacher is sitting Indian style with you and asking you, "What do you really want to make of your life?" What's your answer? What's your real answer? 

Isn't it crazy how sometimes we can go a few months (gasp, years sometimes) without answering this question for ourselves? It's critical you know your derivatives, because they're your North Star. They empower you in weird times, like when you're trying to run another mile, or find patience to be kind to people who won't give you the time of day. Derivatives are what got Danny McBride back to LA after waiting tables at a Mexican restaurant in Glendale. He knew he needed to be an comedian. He was going to keep trying. Thank God for that. What would the world do without Eastbound and Down? And if you don't like that show you need to keep your GD mouth shut.

This is all complicated by my confusion as to where my home is. My heart is buried in North Carolina, and spending time with my college housemates there over the New Year certainly tempted me to look into moving back there. I grew up knowing I would leave; it never occurred to me after I left that I could actually return.

Thing is, I don't really like the idea of settling much of anywhere. I like the idea of being, barf barf, a citizen of the world and of this country. My home is Greensboro, South Florida, Chapel Hill, some parks in London, Beijing, and Los Angeles. Mostly Greensboro, South Florida, and Los Angeles. And Los Angeles and all of its flavors have been good for me. California in general, if I were to give it a slogan, would be: "Make it happen and enjoy the ride." I am still eager to do so. I honestly don't want to leave. As a thought experiment I imagine meeting and falling in love with someone and them saying, "I want to stay here forever." What would I say? I wouldn't like that. What if they said "I want to go to Greensboro." I wouldn't like that either. I want to be free to go where I choose. I'm only quarter joking when I tell people I'm going to own and rent tiny houses in Greensboro, Miami, Eugene, and Santa Monica.  The only reason I need space is to entertain, Gatsby style!!

I started this year with a couple of things deafening my mind's eye (please fix that metaphor for me).  I spent this past summer learning I probably don't want to do litigation, even entertainment, except for certain circumstances. This fall I found myself obsessing over all kinds of business, but was especially allured by venture capital. It's something about scalability, and all the problems that come with that, that appeals to me, for now. It's like taking a grain of sand and turning it into one of the pyramids. Peter Thiel's Zero to One electrified me, especially given his background as a law student.

All this is to say that now I'm externing with a VC firm and could not be more pumped to soak up everything I possibly can. The past few years I've started reading again and was telling my friend that, when you're really into reading, that isn't the right verb. You eat books; you can almost hear the crunch of them as you rip through. That's how I feel with business. I want to know EVERYTHING. I want to re-enact the gong fu scene from The Matrix.  I want to meet with a client who knows nothing about business but a lot about their craft and throw some lighter fluid on what they're doing.  I want to protect the moms and pops.  I want to high five Marcus Lemonis and make Mark Cuban laugh on his yacht, The Fountainhead, after I close a deal with him and mock him for his poor taste in literature.  Ignore that these men share a name with my dad. It is a true coincidence. 

Somewhat related to my derivative is my desire to wake up every morning from a place of ritual and peace. I've started getting up at 4:30 to chill and read the Wall Street Journal.  It's been weird, it's been nice.

What else is in the works for 2015? Welp, studying for the bar, finding my "forever home", dinner parties, helping my Professor write a book on tax policy, dance parties, and getting healthy. I don't even mean losing weight at this point. I mean waking up and feeling good. I've never been more tired of being sick.

The Stuff

K so here's the deal.

I'm going to Sundance Film Festival for the second time and I am currently planning on seeing *ten films*!!! Ten!! That's a lot of movies even for me!! And I am planning on posting up reviews right here, though I am certain it will take me a very long time to do so given the schedule that awaits me.

I feel strongly about documenting this because of last year's Boyhood.  Usually when you watch a movie, you turn to your friend at the end and ask, "What'd you think?" I'm usually embarrassed to ask if I really liked it and am worried my companion didn't, because I have weird collectivist feelings with arts that I don't know quite what to do with.

This time, my friend and I didn't need to ask each other. I am telling you, hand to Heaven, the entire Eccles theater of 1,000 people felt the same damn way the entire time we watched Boyhood reveal itself to us. We were witnessing something poignant and true. Linklater's magnum opus, AFTER he made Waking Life, which might be the only overly clever film I like. It was so joyful. I turned to my friend at the end and said, "Well, that's going to win best picture, and if it doesn't, I cannot wait to see what beats it."

So check back here to see what's happening. I'll keep it short and sweet.

I doubt I'm going to see another Boyhood, maybe ever, but I love the idea of being one of the first to share with the world my experience with films, even if they're duds! Or as I say around these parts . . . buds. :-)