Bob Marley & The Wailers - Dreamland

There are going to be times where you have no idea what in the world is in front of you. Well, you never really do. Foresight is an illusion, there are only times when you are more aware of life's uncertainty. I have done nearly everything in my power in my life to bolster this illusion. There are plenty of materials on set with me to make everyone feel at home. Script's written and craft services arranged. But I am ambitious, not traditional. I see comfort in convention, it's no reward to me. Despite efforts, my life feels more sausage prep than four course display.

This is when the mind will do what it does.

My mind hums along in its own way, and has led me to interesting places on autopilot.  It has had plenty to do the past several years with not much of a break, and still it surprises me.

I fall asleep with ambitions merely to wake up tomorrow and put in work. To live in LA, to produce, to help others. This is not enough for my mind. Yes, I remind it at night of my failures. My mind knows the weight of them.  It knows of every heartbreak and obstacle I have encountered. If I were happier with less, I would be happy. It knows this. You are irrational and have spent too much time at Disney World. Dreams go deferred, it doesn't matter in the end. Just be good. I don't need much mind to do that. 

But my mind doesn't care and it really doesn't listen to my wisdom. It has its own ideas. It wakes me up early. It is stupid in this way. When I am certain it's time to pack my bags, I find the hopes my mind's left in my empty pockets. My mind demands I stay here. It keeps dreaming every night.  It makes me feel responsible for building structures no one else knows about. It paints a picture in front of me and shines a light out of my eyes.