Future - Benz Friendz (Watchutola) (feat. Andre 3000)

I'll level with you here. The lyrics here really piss me off.

Am I supposed to clap, like, "Yeah!  You tell those bitches to stop caring about lambos!"

Or say, "That's right. Women in this country are bringing men down with their unrelenting materialism."

I'm just around the corner from a quarter century, and the women I know, regardless of demographic, aren't sitting around complaining about the car their men drive.

Andre's telling us this is about symbolism. NPR told me Future's lyrics are deep. So I'll step back from the Monet and say, this is about fair weather love. 

I guess that's why Lois can't be with Clark Kent

Fly on a nigga back while he Superman

But if I'm in a wheelchair, you still there?

Eh. Sure. Still not quite ringing true to me here, sorry. I know music isn't really about that and it's an odd reaction to someone telling you their story, "Your story is WRONG." But, hey man, if you're going to start out a song by crying out my pejorative, let me tell you, you invited my scrutiny. Mr. Miyagi doesn't like to fight, but he was lying to you when he said he didn't.

Imputed income is awesome. Burn false brands and question what you're told. (Translation: riding a bike is fine with me.) But most of my girlfriends have the opposite problem: close to zero expectations for their male partners, while we spend thousands of dollars a year to maintain a barely passable appearance to society's expectations. Yup. Women are supposed to have and want it all: a developed career, family, and, in my generation, quirky personality, lest we be dubbed "basic." God forbid we hold our partners to the suffocating standards expected of us.

Thing is, is I don't think men should be held to that standard. I'm not saying Andre needs the Benz! I'm just saying, GET. OFF. MY. BACK.

Why in the world, then, am I showcasing this? All my ramblings to this point suggest this track is muck, not lotus?

Because it's beautiful and I am willing to lean back one more step.

It's May 1st, which means that it's time for me to blast melancholy pop music. Last year, it was Kid Cudi's Unfuckwittable.  Ten years ago, it was Air's Surfing on a Rocket.

What a strange, undeniable impulse, but, as sure as the smog blooms on a spring Los Angeles day, I have my vices.

Forget gender politics. Andre 3000, as my Gemini twin, gets the benefit of the doubt here. (Future: you're on notice). Let's say that the so-called "bitch" this song refers to is the World At Large, or fans, or something. Such a BS stretch that I'm allowing right now, but I like it better this way:

I can relate to this. A friend of mine bikes all around LA.

"It makes the city feel so small."

Ironic how the steed with the least power affords us the most perspective. Forget the friends who can't understand that.

Try not to call them bitches, though.

Suggestions for insults that are percussive or audibly satisfying while not taking a giant dump on entire population for qualities they have no control over: nugget, townie, and bucket.

I told that buck I told that buck

I told that bucket I don't give a fuck about a benz, nugget, and I don't want no townie who wanna have that kinda friendship. 

Some friends say "nugget" and "bucket" are actually terms of endearment. Looks like someone's never stepped in a bucket with a mop in it. Nor have they envisioned what nuggets really are. What's a nugget? If it's not made of gold, you don't ever want it.